Too Much

One point driven home by the huge success of Tyler Perry’s Netflix movie, Straw, is that Black people are NOT the monoliths that we are often assumed to be. As soon as it was released, I immediately began getting texts and social media posts with comments running the gamut of loving it to hating it, but certainly more love than hate. I was late to the party for a lot of reasons, but mainly because at any moment I’m watching, finishing up, or about to watch something on Netflix, Apple+,Peacock, or even, and I’m not proud of this, Pluto TV. I have a problem, but that’s for another blog.

I watched 3/4 of Straw on a Sunday night. I didn’t love it as much as some of my friends did. I did, however, think that Sherri Shepherd was excellent as the bank manager, Nicole, and no one can deny Taraji’s acting chops in her starring role of Janiyah.

When I texted one of my old college friends who was the first to recommend it to me, I said Straw was too much, but I admitted that it was engaging and kept my intererest. She responded that the overwhelming grief of a mother and how it led to an emotional breakdown far outweighed any of the film’s flaws, and I needed to watch the whole thing. I woke up the next morning and finished the movie, and I’m glad I did.I was about to miss a VERY important plot point that I know many of the people who disliked the movie, had done as well. I won’t spoil it for the three of you who haven’t seen it and the others who didn’t hang in there until the end.

The people who loved Straw really loved it and some who didn’t were just as vocal about their feelings. One Facebook friend, a very outspoken, down-to-earth wife and mom of 5, who did watch the entire movie, did not like it at all. She suggested a different ending was needed that would include Jamiya getting therapy. “Why couldn’t we see her heal?”she posted. Fair.

Monday I had lunch with 12 black women of a variety of ages, backgrounds, incomes, and naturally, opinions. When one of the more seasoned women asked how I liked Straw, I was careful, sensing that she was a fan. “The acting was good,” I said.

“I thought the acting was great,” she interjected.”And the story was wonderful.” Yes, ma’am.

As I walked out of the restaurant with another woman who hadn’t heard our conversation, she said, “girl, we didn’t talk about Straw. It was a mess. I have no doubt that Tyler Perry made it in only four days.” Well… he did.

My old co-workers and I used to have a saying when ever everyone didn’t agree on something, “hey, you like what you like.” I personally have never leaned into the melodramatic genre. Back in the day, if you asked most black women to name the saddest movie they’d ever seen they would tell you the 1959 classic Imitation of Life. “It’s guaranteed to make you cry,” they would say. It never made me cry.

One of my favorite dramas is Respect, starring Jennifer Hudson as Aretha Franklin. To me, the writers, and Jennifer did an amazing job, and I learned that there were many more sides to the Queen of Soul, than I hadn’t known about, and it is one of the few movies that does make me shed a tear, every time I watch it, which has been more than 10 times, if you must know. We’re all different and who knows what draws us to some things and not to others?

The original tear jerker, “Imitation of Life.”

A close friend told me Straw made her cry like a baby, and many people in my Facebook feed had that reaction. But another friend chose not to watch it at all because she had been through so many struggles in her young adult life that she was afraid it would be triggering for her. Her husband, on the other hand, watched it and thought it was a good depiction of a woman who just couldn’t catch a break. Every where she turned there was trouble, and she had to face it without a community of people she needed to help her through it, he said.

There were several women represented in Straw, and even though some of the characters were one-dimensional in my opinion, to Tyler Perry’s credit, many people are recognizing themselves, their own stories, or the stories of someone they know.

When I look over my life and my group of friends and family members there has been a lot joy, a lot support, but also a lot of trauma, much of it rarely discussed. Movies dealing with mental health and particularly women’s issues are sometimes exactly what’s needed to get us talking, and more importantly listening to each other.

On a closing note, a beautiful church member in her 80s passed away recently, and during her service, three women spoke of how she had poured into their lives when she needed them, often without waiting for them to call on her. Her legacy was that she took care of people and found joy in doing it. It made me grateful for my village and it also reminded me that we all can stand to do better. When it comes to looking after each other, we can never do too much.